Blood Letters
by BeautifulRedRose
Summary: Letters Katherine wrote to Elijah over the course of her vampire and now human life. Elijah/Katherine
1. Vampire

**Blood Letters**

"Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine.  
Oh I don't love you but I always will."  
- The Civil Wars

**Katherine, Vampire**

Elijah.

Your hiding in the shadows.

I can feel your presence. I can always feel you.

I'm afraid. Not of you. Of what you make me feel. How you make me yearn for your presence. Your touch. Your kisses. Your sweet, gentle words.

After all this time, it's still you. It's always you.

I run. That's all I've done for the past hundred years. Run. That's what you made me become. A runner. A coward. A selfish, cold woman who simply looks out for herself.

You never let me live my own life, and I hate you for that. I want to forgive you. I really do. But I can't. I can't after all this time. My _heart_ ...I don't have a heart anymore. I made sure of that over the decades.

You step out from the shadows. We hold each others gazes for what felt like an eternity. My eyes are wide with fear. Yours are calm and observing.

You reach out for me. You say my name gently. I want to believe. I really do. But I can't be naive again, not anymore. I can't be the girl I use to be. The one you fell in love with and eventually broke. You and your corrupted brother and tainted family.

You surrounded me with darkness.

So darkness I became.


	2. Remember

**Two**

**Katherine, Vampire**

Elijah

I remember the small, good details of our lives together. When we had been happy. When I was an oblivious, naive girl who was foolishly in love with you.

How you held me close to you when we walked together through the garden. How you held my hand under the table as we ate breakfast with your family. How you stroked my hair to help me sleep. How you would smile for me, even when you had been serious just a few seconds ago. How you would stare at me intently when you thought I couldn't tell.

I cheerish all those memories in my mind. I try to perserve the goodness I had seen in you. And I hope you are doing the same because I am not the same girl that you had fallen in love with. That girl died a long time ago.

I'm just a shell of her now. And I know you see it, I catch it in your eyes. The guilt, the remorse, the pain. I can sometimes catch it, fleeting through your eyes before its gone.

I want you to do what I have been doing for centuries.

Remebering.

I want you to remember me as I was, not what I've become.


	3. Death

**Three**

**Katherine, Vampire**

Elijah

My plan was to die.

I wanted to die. It would have saved me a great deal of pain. I should not have survived. But in a way, I didn't.

I did die.

I had discovered your brother's sinister secret. You both had hid it so well. I had never asked. I had been a good girl and had hoped, as I had foolishly done so much, that one day you would tell me the truth. You would share a part of yourself to me. But you never did.

I went through your brother's things. I found letters from your family, asking if you had finally found the doppelgänger. I knew they were referring to me, I knew it because there was a drawing that looked exactly like me. But I refused to accept it. You wouldn't use me. You weren't that kind of man.

But then I heard your conversation with your brother. How he told you I was a mere human with no importance. A sacrifice to break the hybrid curse placed upon him. He needed me to die and you had stood there, accepting his crazed plan.

That's when I snapped. That's when I decided to run away. Not because I discovered you weren't human, but because you had easily bewitched me.

I had used Trevor as a mean to escape. I had used his obvious affections for me for my own selfish needs. The poor fool, couldn't he see I felt nothing toward him? Something dark inside me that had been grasping the empty void in my heart would have easily let him die for my own freedom.

Trevor, with his pointless hope in me and Rose, with her obvious infuriation. Two foolish people. Couldn't they see that I was becoming a selfish woman already? Couldn't they tell that I was meant to be a vampire with the darkness that had inhabited my heart?

Stabbing myself, I did want to die. A part of me thought that it was for the best. But a darker part of me wanted to die but live at the same time. I wanted immortality. I wanted power. I wanted to be a part of that darken, forbidden world that was yours.

Rose, in her unstable sense, had easily given me the gift of escape. With the snap of my neck, I had sealed my fate. I had been my own downfall. But what did I have left? You didn't care, you never did. I couldn't find myself to trust you, not after everything I had witnessed and discovered.

You were a monster.

I was a monster now, too.

I took the moonstone and ran into the night, not caring the fate that awaited Trevor and Rose for unknowingly helping me with my freedom. My survival. As I ran through the woods, everything so much clearer and magnified, I knew only one thing. And one thing alone.

I would never be a human again.

So I turned it off and embraced the vampire in me.


End file.
